Wedding Planning Before Engagement: How to Start When You’re Not Officially Engaged Yet

Have you found the person you want to marry, but you’re not officially engaged yet? You’re not alone! Many couples start wedding planning before getting engaged to reduce stress, save money, or simply get ahead of the timeline.

Here’s how to start planning your dream wedding—ring or not:

1. Talk About Marriage and Your Future

Before choosing your venue or cake flavor, sit down and discuss the big picture:

• Are you both on the same page about getting married?

• What does your ideal wedding timeline look like?

• How will you handle budgeting?

These conversations are foundational and help you plan confidently.

2. Start a Shared Wedding Vision Board

Using Pinterest or a shared Google Drive folder, collect:

• Wedding color schemes

• Favorite ceremony styles

• Reception inspirations

• Guest list ideas

This step helps couples define their aesthetic and get excited about future planning.

3. Research Wedding Venues Early

One of the smartest things you can do is research wedding venues in the Shenandoah Valley or your desired area.

Venues like Valley Mills Farm Wedding & Events often book 12–18 months in advance, so getting familiar early gives you a head start.

Even if you’re not ready to book, identify your top choices based on:

• Guest capacity

• Location

• Package inclusions

• Venue style and vibe

4. Outline a Budget Framework

Creating a tentative budget now will make planning easier later. Consider:

• Who might contribute

• What your priorities are (venue, catering, dress, etc.)

Use a spreadsheet or budgeting tool to visualize your future wedding expenses.

5. Discuss Ideal Wedding Dates or Seasons

Talk about the time of year you’d like to get married. Think about:

• Symbolic dates

• Preferred season

• Major holidays or family events

This gives you a ballpark for venue and vendor availability.

6. Schedule Venue Tours—If You’re Ready

Touring venues early isn’t unusual! Many couples do it before an official engagement, especially when visiting destination areas like the Shenandoah Valley.

At Valley Mills Farm, we welcome couples who are in the dreaming phase. Touring early helps you:

• Visualize your wedding day

• Ask planning questions

• Explore our all-inclusive wedding packages

7. Enjoy the Pre-Engagement Process

Wedding planning doesn’t need to start with a ring—it can start with a conversation. Pre-engagement planning is a wonderful way to align your vision and reduce stress when the time comes.

Why Plan Before the Engagement?

• Avoid last-minute stress

• Get a realistic view of your timeline and budget

• Secure your top-choice venue and vendors

Interested in a Shenandoah Valley wedding venue? Whether you’re officially engaged or just gathering ideas, we’d love to give you a tour of Valley Mills Farm. Our scenic views, all-inclusive wedding packages, and exceptional service make us a top choice for Virginia weddings.

📍 Contact us today to schedule a visit or request our wedding brochure.

We hope to use our platform to create awareness for the value of supporting locally owned wedding venues. You can help support amazing locally owned wedding venues across the country by writing a Google review, following their social media accounts and referring locally owned wedding venues whenever you have the opportunity. We sincerely appreciate your support and want to share a shout out to some of our wedding venue owner colleagues around the country such as:  The Hidden Abbey; 1860 Schulhaus; The Ironwood Barn at Von Erich Ranch; Heartland Farms Event Center; Carolina Country Weddings